JiNnY’s Blog

I’ll warn you:  this is life changing.. gikan ni sakong HEART!!♥♥

Honesty and vulnerability, you see, are excellent bedfellows; each is influenced by the other. As you become more honest, revealing the whole truth about yourself, you also become more vulnerable. You’re stripping off your armor, exposing yourself to others’ slings and arrows.

When I began to be open about myself, I was initially uncomfortable being so open. My honesty felt like walking around without skin. But it’s that very willingness to be real that has generated a connection and response with other women. I’m not rejected by others because of my honesty; I’m accepted because of it. This is true not only for me. Think of the relief you feel when someone whom you’ve always admired, someone that you look to as the epitome of the perfect mom, woman, wife, reveals her weaknesses. Doesn’t her vulnerability make you like her more, not less?

We all have mean thoughts. We all judge others. We all can be pity, unforgiving and self absorbed. What a relief to know that we’re not alone; that we’re not the only ones who think this way. How nice to know that we’re all in this, together.

On the other side of vulnerability awaits a precious commodity:  freedom. The truth sets you free in many ways. On a practical level, honesty creates freedom because you aren’t expending time and energy constructing a false front. You don’t have to remember your story, or prop up your lies with backup.

But, more importantly, the truth sets you free by releasing you from shame. We hide the truth of ourselves because we’re ashamed by it. We’re ashamed of our secret corners; those dark habits that mark our divinity. It’s why we hide our addictions, our fears, and even our hopes and dreams. But putting those habits and dreams out in the open, where everyone can see them, is what releases the shame. When you own all of who you are—the good, and the bad—shame disappears.

I’ve revealed it all; my eating disorder (anorexic), my depression, my overeating, my OCD. I reveal it all because I own it all. I hold no shame against myself. And because I hold no shame, I don’t feel vulnerable in sharing my story. You can call me on anything, any piece of my past or present, and I won’t flinch. I don’t run from who I am.

You see, in owning who I am, in accepting the truth about myself, I also accept a greater truth:  The real me, isn’t the overeater, the OCD, the depressive. The real me, my spirit, is so much greater than that. I am not my habits. I am not my thoughts. I am not my behavior.

You aren’t either.

I’m free to accept my stumbling blocks, just as I am free to accept my divinity. I’m free to love others unconditionally; to accept their stumbling blocks, and their divinity.

Being vulnerable, you see, will change your world. It will split your heart wide open, it will tear down the wall that separates you from others. Sometimes, the tenderness of this world, of all of those aching, lovely souls that cross your path, will bring you to tears. Being vulnerable will mean you’ll cry more, you’ll laugh more, and you’ll experience everything in greater depth. Being vulnerable is really about one thing: being willing to love.

♥♥♥ hahahaahahha!!!!! DraMa kaau!!! =)

♥♥♥ JiNnY ♥♥♥

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